Son of Darkness (eng)

Titel: Son of Darkness
Kapitel: Vet ej än
Handling: Lord Voldemort har fått höra profetian om Harry James Potter men istället för att försöka döda Harry tar han Harry och gör honom sin son.
Första kapitlet utspelar sig 10 år efter att Harry, nu Harrison Riddle kommit till sitt nya hem och Harrison ska börja sitt första år på Hogwarts
Mintygirl89
Autumn Black

Det kan bli en spännande story! Jag bevakar tråden och ska försöka kommentera.

Är det okej att komma med konstruktiv kritik?

Ja det är det

Chapter One: Getting to Know the Riddle's

If you were to look at Riddle Manor from the outside you wouldn't think that much had changed in the past ten years.
The manor was still grand and the large windows still gleamed as though they were made of diamonds.
Ivy still grew on the walls and the gardens were still immaculate.
Frogs could still be found hopping around from lilypad to lilypad in the pond and the forest continued to add beauty of the grounds.

Inside however everything was different.
Ten years ago the manor was quiet and usually devoid of people besides Tom Riddle with the exception of meetings.
Expensive paintings hung from the walls and antigue vases decorated the rooms.
Now moving pictures of a young boy laughing, flying and running around hung next to the expensive paintings.
Portraits of a handsome man with ice blue eyes and a young boy with eyes that shone like emeralds hung above fireplaces and laughing could be heard through the mirror .
Young kids frequented the manor something which ten years ago would've never happened.

The changes were caused by Harrison Riddle the son of Tom Riddle Jr. and the heir of the great Salazar Slytherin himself.
Over the past ten years Harrison had grown into a handsome young man.
He was tall for his age with short jet black hair that was always styled perfectly, he had pale skin and eyes that shone like the brightest emeralds.
Harrison had also become exceedingly smart.
Ever since he could read he would spend hours every day reading books and trying to learn as much as he could.
Harrison along with his best friends had also been tutored in magic by Tom and several death eathers.

As well as learning about magic Harrison also learned several languages something which his father told him would come in handy as he got older.
He was fluent in french, Italian, Bulgarian and Latin.
He had never counted parseltongue as a language since he had been able to speak it for as long as he could remember.

Gillar idén, bevakar

Spännande

Chapter 2: Hogwarts Letter

The day after Harrison's eleventh birthday found Harrison sitting down in one of the dining rooms at Riddle Manor with his father.
The dining room was large with a black marble floor and a long dark brown table that seated twelve.
There was a roaring fireplace that was ten feet tall along one wall and a pair of double doors along another.
There were several paintings of various landscapes on the walls and an antique chandelier hung from the ceiling.
This was the darkest of the of the dining rooms but also the smallest which is why they would normally eat breakfast in there.

As soon as Harrison sat down a small green snake with shimmering scales poked it's head out of the his sleeve.
The snake slithered out and moved up one of his arms until it was lounging around his shoulders.
The snake was two feet long and the tip of tail was the only part that wasn't green instead it was a bright silver color.

"I trust you slept well?" Tom asked his son as he sat down his cup of coffee.

"Yes. I fell asleep as soon I laid down actually." Harrison said while cutting up a piece of ham for his familiar.

Just then a house elf popped into the room.
The tiny elf had several envelopes and a newspaper in her hand, she bowed low before setting them down on the table in between Tom and Harrison.

"The owls delivered the morning post." the smallelf squeaked.

Tom nodded and reached for the Daily Prophet.
He waved a hand dismissively and the elf bowed low before dissappearing with a pop.
Tom stared down at a letter adressed to Harrison written in green ink.
A smile spread across the Dark Lords face as he picked up the letter and handed it to his son.

Harrison grabbed the letter and grinned when he saw it, his Hogwarts letter had finally arrived.
He quickly broke the waxed seal which was the crest of Hogwarts and pulled out the letter.

Dear Mr. Riddle,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Please find an enclosed list of all necessary books and eauipment.

Term begins on September 1.
We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours Sincerly,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

"Dad, can we go to Diagon Alley?" Harrison asked looking up from his letter.

"I spoke with Lucius last night at your party. We will meet Narcissa, Lucius and Draco in front of Ollivander's at nine." Tom said before taking a sip of his coffee.

Det är en mycket intressant story. Nu har jag bevakat tråden, så jag kommer inte att missa något.
Intressant att Voldemort/Tom har adopterat Harry och döpt om honom till Harrison. Undrar hur det ska gå. när Harry/Harrison får veta sanningen om sina föräldrar, för jag gissar de är döda.

Har väl ingen kritik att komma med, men ett förslag är att om du ska ha ett brev i berättelsen, kan du göra brevet i kursiv stil. Då kan läsaren se skillnaden mellan berättande text och brev, om du förstår.

Exempel:

Dear Mr. Riddle,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Please find an enclosed list of all necessary books and eauipment.

Term begins on September 1.
We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours Sincerly,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

Hoppas du förstår vad jag menar. I övrigt är berättelsen bra, och jag ska absolut följa den.

EN fråga bara. Kommer Ron och Hermione att vara med?