The Broken Ones [ENG]

Jag läser
Hur kan man inte göra det, liksom?

;*
Jag vet inte! Haha, men jag blir så osäker. Är rädd att ingen ska vilja läsa, juuu!

"He didn’t want to feel, didn’t want to exist, and didn’t want to have to think about any of this. It was too much to handle and too much to take. Too hard to figure out and impossible to answer. Draco Malfoy had never had problems with love before, because it had been something almost distant to him. Loving people were never worth it. People tend to let you down, and if they don’t, you let them down."

Alltså på riktigt, du skriver som en gudinna. ÄLSKAR deras tankar och åsikter om sig själva. När jag läste citatet ovan så började jag nästan gråta, för så verkligt blir det. Har aldrig läst en bättre ff!

Jag blev så överväldigad av den här kommentaren att jag läste den, snyftade lite och sedan glömde bort att svara på den på grund av alla känslor.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Jag har ett nytt kapitel igen, woho! Tydligen brukar jag alltid ha skrivit klart dem till måndagen..

Finns det någon som är intresserad av ett nytt kapitel? :'D

Alsooo, om det är någon av er som har Wattpad/gillar Wattpad/skulle vilja läsa på Wattpad/alla tre: länk

Intresserad?
Mer än intresserad!

JAG VILL HA ETT TILL KAPITEL!

Haha vad gulliga ni är. ♥ Here it comes!



Chapter 7; Helping

Ginny Weasley’s morning had been normal.
Well, the definition of normal she’d created this last week. But still normal.
Harry slamming the door to their apartment, leaving in a rage, had been her alarm clock. They both avoided the apartment as best as they could, only spending time together for the necessary discussions about practical things. Harry mostly seemed disappointed in her whenever she talked to him, but every now and then came outbursts of anger. It was an anger she deserved.
She’d gotten up of the bed, already used to sleeping there alone. She ate a quiet breakfast, made herself ready and left for Draco’s – Luna’s – apartment. A routine had been established in which she went there every morning before work, and every night after, unless she had a quidditch match to report. But she was always there at least once a day. It’s fascinating how quick you get used to things, she thought as she entered the building.
And just as fascinating how soon you feel when something’s different. She always waited outside the door for a bit, listening for clues to what Draco was doing. She usually heard either the shower or the kettle, sometimes both. It was becoming a scarily precise routine, but she hadn’t realised it until now.
Because this morning, she didn’t hear a sound. And from the moment she’d opened the door with magic, since she symbolically had given her spare key away, the morning had quit being a normal one on the spot.
Ginny normally didn’t spend her mornings in St.Mungos. She preferred it that way. But here she was, positioned in a waiting room at some department she’d never been to before. Still dry-heaving after the sight she’d met this morning.


“Miss Weasley?” A young-looking healer with the green costumes that always made Ginny feel sick called out her name.
“Yes?”
“Your friend is ready to see you now.” She stood up immediately, but the healer held up her hand to stop her. “He’s been sleeping, so take it easy. We fixed the wounds without problem, but he will need medication to avoid infection. Dirty razor blades can be nasty.” She made an apologizing smile. “Also… You need to talk to him.”
“About what?”
“He needs help. Have you ever heard about self-harm?”
“No. I don’t think so.” Ginny blushed. She knew she’d heard the word before, seen it in muggle newspapers, but that was it. “Is it… some sort of illness?”
“Yes. And no. It’s a bit tricky to explain, and I think he will have to do it for you. But you can read this.” The healer gave her a pink pamphlet and then pointed towards a door in the end of the corridor. “He’s in room 21, over there.”

Draco looked even more fatigued now than when she’d first found him that night in Diagon Alley. He was disturbingly pale and both his wrists were bandaged, but he still managed to crack a smile when she entered.
“You made a mistake befriending me, you know.”
“Why are you hurting yourself like this? Why are you doing it?” She ignored his comment, desperate to ask the questions she couldn’t stop thinking about.
“You wouldn’t understand.” His face turned serious. “No one ever does.”
“Fantastic”, she snorted. “I’m not a moron! I’ve been through tough things, too. Remember that time when I was eleven and got possessed by Lord Voldemort, thanks to a diary your father gave me? That war we both fought in, in which I lost a brother? All the people close to me I’ve lost? Hate to break it to you, but you’re not the only one in this world who have felt pain.” She put her arms across her chest. “Try me.”
“I’m sorry.” He winced, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “It’s just that I’ve never come across someone who understood this before. I’ve kind of given up.”
“You hurt yourself. You cut yourself. And you drink a clearly unhealthy amount of alcohol, which I guess also is a way of hurting yourself. I have a hard time thinking you do this for fun.”
“I need to kill them.”
The room became quiet.
“Need to kill who?”
“The creatures.” Draco blushed. “It sounds really dumb, and I’ve never found anything about it in a book… but there are dangerous creatures in my head. It must be, it’s the only possible explanation. And I need to please them.”

~

Draco would be staying at St Mungos over the night for observation, so Ginny left him when another healer came into the room to shoo her away, telling her she could come back at the ordinary visiting hours. She didn’t feel too confident about going to The Daily Prophet’s office like this, shaken and exhausted, so she took the tube to Hyde Park instead.

It took some time before she realised she’d chosen the exact same bench she’d shared with Draco a week ago. Not until she’d been sitting there for a good ten minutes, sipping tea from a paper cup and reading notes from a quidditch match yesterday, did she become conscious about the fact that her view over the Italian Gardens felt very familiar. She had no idea about why she’d chosen this bench once again, and refused to think about it.
Runners rushed past her and parents with babies in strollers smiled at her as they walked by. Ginny tried her best to smile back, but felt doubting about her success. Her head was full of worries to the bursting point, and the couples who walked past her, holding hands and kissing, didn’t do much to take her mind off of it.
Why was nothing in her life just simple?
She started digging in her bag to find her two-way mirror, but got hold of the pink pamphlet the healer had given her instead. She never read it at the hospital, never even glanced at it. As she did so now, she found that it was called “Depression, Self-Harm and Eating Disorders – What happens when mood enchantments doesn’t work?”
She begun to read it.

~
“You’re totally welcome to stay with us until you find a new place”, said Ron as he and Harry exited the classroom. They were re-living their Hogwarts years now, only with much more advanced classes. “I mean, if Hermione agrees to it. It’ll be great – just like old times!”
“Ron, this is really not something to get excited about. I’m moving out because Ginny and I broke up, remember?” Harry dragged his hand through his jet-black hair, a motion he always did when thinking about something serious. “It’ll be fine. Just, please stop acting like it’ll be paradise.”
“Well, she’s the one who broke up with you, so you’re the one who deserves better.”
“Speaking from experience with Lavender, I understand?”
“Oh, shut up.” They kept on walking towards the elevator in silence. “I’m just telling you, you haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t even know why she’s doing this, to be honest.”
“I’ve already told you, and you could always ask her yourself. You’re siblings, after all.” Harry found this conversation really annoying, but Ron obviously needed to get this off his chest.
“I just don’t think it’s fair to you. I mean, you said she never mentioned it before. And you guys were so happy together. You made her happy, which is the only thing I ever wanted for my sister, and if she doesn’t want you – then something must be seriously wrong with her.” A quiet ding announced that the elevator had arrived to their floor. They both stepped inside, Ron still talking and Harry not really listening.
“Someone really must talk some sense into her, this is completely illogical…”
“Ron.” He nudged his best friend with his elbow. “…Stop.”
They weren’t alone in the elevator, like Ron must’ve thought. They were accompanied by the victim of Ron’s insults herself, and she gave the both of them a stale but judging look.
“Talk all the sense into me you want. I still make my own choices in life”, she said as she exited the elevator at the floor where Hermione worked.
The both of them were left paralyzed by surprise, one furious and one morose.
“I always loved her confidence so much”, whispered Harry.
“Ugh. You’re like a lovesick puppy. Come on – I need to buy coffee.” They had arrived at the Ministry’s cafeteria, and Ron dragged his friend out of the elevator.

~

“Your fiancé insulted me in the elevator today”, Ginny told Hermione when they’d gotten out of the Ministry building.
“Really?” She lifted one of her bushy eyebrows. “What did he say?”
“Something about how someone has to talk sense into me and that I make idiotic choices in life. He’s taking Harry’s side all the way.”
“I’ve noticed.” She sighed. “He’ll come around, Ginny. He always does eventually. Give him some time.”
“I know he will. It’s just… I didn’t do this to upset anyone. Still everyone seems to think I did. It’s hurtful.” The two of them had apparated to Brighton Pier - Hermione insisted on needing to see the sea after a hectic workday. They were walking along the shore now, talking in quiet voices while watching the waves.
“I don’t, if it helps.”
“Perhaps.” Ginny tried to smile again, but after the day’s incidents it felt unattainable. St Mungo’s, all the information the pamphlet had given her, the meeting in the elevator. She wished for her life to get easier, and it went on doing the opposite. No wonder her cheek muscles refused to cooperate.
“You seem low today. Is something else bothering you?” Sweet, compassionate, Hermione. The two friends discussed almost anything, but Ginny had yet to tell anyone about Draco and had not nearly enough energy to take the reaction.
“Life, I guess. Breaking up with the Wizarding World’s most famous man. All that comes with it. All the hate… My brother being sororicidal.” She frowned. “Gets tiring after a while.”
“Well, you don’t deserve any of the hate.” Hermione picked up a flat stone from the beach, throwing it in the sea with all of her strength. Ginny did the same. “You two… had it coming. You were a little too predictable.”
“Says the girl who married her best friend.”
“Shut up!” They started laughing simultaneously.
“I do have another problem, though.” She threw another stone, as hard and as far as she could. “That I haven’t told anyone about. And I’m thinking I need to.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“Why do people always think I’m pregnant?” She blushed as she noticed people looking at her funny. A young woman with a friend on Brighton Pier, screaming about her not being pregnant – something to discuss at the dinner table. “I’m not. It would be easier than this.”
“Not necessarily. You being pregnant would cause a great scandal, both with Harry or with someone else.”
“Let it go, Hermione. You’re making me forget what I wanted to say originally.” A deep breath was needed to brace herself for this. “Draco Malfoy is currently living in Lunas apartment, thanks to me.”
“You… What?”


“He needs help.”
An hour later, they had found seats in a crowded café, sharing a brownie. Ginny had calmly explained the Draco problem to her friend, and Hermione had listened with patience, her face expression changing from uncertainty to sorrow to disgust to the hint of a smile.
“He needs help indeed. Mental illnesses are some serious stuff.”
“The healer at St. Mungo’s gave me a pamphlet with information. From what it said, I agree.” She ate another spoon of the brownie, which was scrumptious. She realised she’d forgot to eat lunch. “I just can’t make sense of why I’ve never, ever really heard about it.”
“It’s stigmatized. Very stigmatized. People are often terribly judgemental about it.”
“So I’ve understood, since no one talks about it.”
“He’s married to Astoria Malfoy, who works at the same department as me.” Hermione looked focused and frustrated at the same time, like she was trying really hard to remember something. “I know it’s something about her and Draco, I’ve thought about it before…”
“He’s not very keen to go home, so their marriage can’t be all fine and dandy. Something’s really wrong there, but he’s not telling me about it.”
“No. He wouldn’t.” She was working through a tangle in her hair with her fingers. “I think, if I remember this right… that Astoria was accused of abusing her husband for a while. Mostly rumours. But the more I think about it, the more likely it seems. She…” Hermione bit her lip. “She feels like the kind of person who would do that. Oh god, Ginny – you really must help him.”
“I am helping him!”
“I’ll help you help him. I know something’s wrong with his and Astoria’s relationship.”

~

Draco Malfoy woke up in the middle of the night, with a peculiar feeling that someone was staring at him.
A feeling that, as it happened, was true.
“Hello, honey.” Astoria sat on the visitor’s chair beside his bed, looking innocent and almost caring. She smiled a sweet smile, almost believable. “I heard you weren’t feeling very well.”
“Astoria…” He tried to sit up, but the dizziness hit him directly and he sunk back into the mattress.
“You don’t have to explain yourself, honey. I understand. I’ve always known.”
“Known what?”
“That you’re a freak.” Her smile got wider, reminded him of the way He-Who-Must… Lord Voldemort, used to smile at Death Eater meetings in his family home. “You’re a freak, Draco. You have always been, and will always be a freak.” She laughed as she rose from the chair. “Oh, by the way. I know you’re seeing miss Ginny Weasley-not-Potter-anymore. You can’t imagine the things I will do to her.” She walked out of the room.
Draco tried to sit up, tried to protest – but his sleeping spells kicked in again and he fell asleep, not even remembering the last words Astoria had spoken.






There it is. Lite mycket dialog i det här kapitlet, är det bra eller dåligt? Och vad tyckte ni om Harry? Det var by far det roligaste att skriva i hela kapitlet (Hatälskar Ron så mycket!!)

Så grymt bra!

... varför skriver du så bra ...
Ärligt though, kommer alltid att läsa allt du skriver för att det går inte att inte göra det, du är så himla bra på det? Jag skulle lätt välja att läsa det du skrivit över många böcker, any day.
Du vet att jag tycker att du skriver helt fantastiskt, och det är verkligen så sant, jag älskar dina beskrivningar och dina karaktärer, hur du formar förhållanden mellan karaktärer, din dialog - allt det är verkligen så fantastiskt.
Men kanske above all så kan du verkligen få mig att känna med karaktärerna. Jag blir ledsen, glad och arg när de är ledsna, glada och arga, och jag är så fascinerad av att du har lyckats göra det.
I övrigt så är jag out of words, jag vet inte hur jag ska formulera vad jag tyckte om det här kapitlet, förutom att det är emotional och så otroligt bra.

Well, det här är bara så jäkla bra att jag inte vet vad jag ska säga. Fantastiskt, helt enkelt.