The Broken Ones [ENG]

SÅ BRA DU ÄÄÄÄÄÄRRRR
jag gråter den här fanficen kmr bli bäst (den e redan bäst men i mean)
Hur lyckas du fånga allting?? du är så bra med ord och man fastnar verkligen jag vill bara ha mer mer meeeeeerrrr omgg due bäst


(("Hufflepuffs are okay, though, I don’t think it knows what a Hufflepuff is. ” jag skrattade så högt orkar ej))

Men åååhh, kram på dig!! ♥ Tack!!
Haha jag vet, det är mitt bästa citat i den här fanficen hittills ♥ ♥ I had to


Här kommer kapitel 6 i alla fall! :*

Chapter 5; Confessions

Alcohol had always been something very familiar to Draco.
As a child, as the shy and vulnerable little boy he'd been, he had hated it. He had hated the substance when he understood the bond between bottles on the dinner table and the deafening screams that echoed through the manor later at night. He hated it when he sat in a forgotten corner of their unnecessarily enormous house, making himself as small as possible, wishing he'd just disappear altogether. And he hated it when he woke up the next morning, feeling the odours of wine and vomit mixed together in an unforgettable but disgusting combination.
But Draco was a kid. Kids learn from their parents, even if involuntarily. A part of him associated alcohol with a resolution to problems, because that was how his father always spoke of it. Those words sat deeply rooted in Draco’s head. Very, very deeply.

So when the abusive behaviours started appearing in his already unsteady relationship, he had went for the solution his father had taught him to. He got himself drunk. Very drunk, very often. With friends in the beginning, but as his behaviour worsened, more and more often all alone. It didn't really matter. It tasted the same, absolutely gross at first but quickly improving as he got used to it.
And the feeling it gave. Like he was flying, not on his broom but all by himself, all his problems drifting away like clouds on a lovely summer day.

The day after was worse. But there were spells for everything, and when he learned the trick about how to cast them, he could use it and repeat the cycle again. Live his life in a triangle. Drink alcohol. Cast a spell to avoid the hangover. Work a little, try to act normal. Drink more alcohol again.
It worked for a while. It worked fine, actually. Except for the fact that the alcohol made him gain weight.
He drank too many unhealthy calories, ate too few healthy ones. He needed to change his behaviour.
So he continued with the drinking and the hungover-curing spells, but stopped eating and learned how to puke. Nasty, yes, but easy to control. Draco strongly decreased his intake of food while increasing his intake of alcohol, and later got rid of it all in a public bathroom somewhere.

Eventually, he'd gotten tired of that circle too. His body was as tired of drinking and puking as he was. The short-term solution had become an addiction, and a dangerous one. He was beat, consumed. So now, he just existed, wallowing in silent self-pity. Trying to keep it to himself, tried not to let anybody notice the cracks climbing upwards the walls. He painted them over, painted them over again. Tried to hide the cracks with paintings and mirrors. Tried to glue the wall together, tape it together. He tried to ignore the cracks, but they were still here, laughing relentlessly at him. He couldn't fix them. His only choice was to shut his eyes to their existence and try not to think about them, always failing.

~

The cashier at Tesco gave her the”I've-haven't-had-nearly-enough-coffee-today-and-I-hate-my-life” look as Ginny walked into the muggle shop. She couldn't help but feel a bit of sympathy for him – as jobs go, the cashier role seemed incredibly boring compared to being, for instance, an auror.
But then again, maybe cashiers came home at a decent hour. Maybe cashiers had time for some other hobby than their work. Maybe working as a cashier wasn't that bad...
She thought about all this as she filled her green plastic basket with groceries. Draco would need to eat more than the three canary crackers Lunas cupboard contained for the moment. He'd been distinctly overweight when she'd met him three months ago – now he looked malnourished, beaten up, miserable.

Harry would do the same thing, she tried to convince herself as she paid for the food. Hermione would do the same thing. Ron would do the same thing. Okay, probably not Ron. Or Hermione, or Harry. She couldn't even make sense of why she was doing it. She only knew the definite need she had for trying to help this man. And when Ginny Weasley had decided to do something, she didn't do it half-heartedly.

~

Even though Draco loved the king-size bed, he slept very poorly. Everything in this apartment smelled of someone else. It smelled of happiness, and passion, and someone actually caring about their life.
He didn't want to leave. He never wanted to leave. This apartment was completely alien to him, but felt safer than any place he'd ever lived. Draco wished he'd had an apartment like this, where the furniture and decorations were personal, where there were photos of actually happy people on the walls. Where the air smelled of good memories, and he practically could see people hanging out in the sofa, laughing and roasting marshmallows over a magical blue fire. This apartment was, for Draco Malfoy, a fairy-tale.

He'd only gone through half of the process of getting dressed when someone unlocked the door.
”Oh. Sorry.” Ginny was carrying two green plastic bags from a muggle supermarket, and looked just as embarrassed as Draco about his half-nakedness.
”Just woke up”, he muttered, even though it was a lie.
”Yeah... It's okay.” She nodded, gave him a feeble smile. ”I've brought you some food.”
He suddenly felt the hunger pains he until now had managed to ignore. Alcohol usually deafened them, but he hadn't had any yesterday. He was starving, every inch of his body screaming for nutrition. ”That’s... you didn't have to. It's more than I deserve.”
”Stop it.” Her eyes had a tired look about them. He wondered how much she'd slept – the bags under her green eyes told him it wasn't much. ”I wanted to do this.” She disappeared into the kitchen to unpack her bags, and Draco once again remembered that he was, in fact, half naked.

~

Draco was apparently really, really hungry. She wondered when he'd last had eaten a proper meal – she'd grown up with six brothers, one of them Ron, but his stomach capacity still shocked her.
”This bread is delicious”, Draco said after his fifth slice with ham and tomatoes.
”Glad you thought so.” Ginny took another spoon of the yogurt she'd barely eaten half of. ”I'm afraid I can't take on much of the honour.”
”You paid for it”, said Draco, and Ginny pretended to curtsey. ”Seriously, though. I don't deserve you buying food for me.”
”Please quit that. Need I remind you to whom I am engaged?”
”You're using his money?”
”No. I have my own money, idiot.”
”You were a quidditch player, right?”
”I still play, just not as a professional. Do you?”
”Haven't sat on a broom since I was 15.” He sounded genuinely sad when he said it.
”Oh.” She nodded quietly. ”I understand. Do you miss it?”
”I don't know. Sometimes?” He took a gulp of water from his neon yellow glass. Every piece of cutlery Luna owned were either neon or pastel, which would be obscure to most people, but felt natural to Ginny,
”I'm thinking about joining the team again. I just... I really don't know.”
”Such difficult problems.” The poisonous comment was automatic, and he strongly regretted it as Ginny gave him an icy look.
”No, but I still have every right to talk about them. But since you think they're so boring, we could switch to yours. Tell me, why do you live like you do? On the streets, with an alcohol addiction and a desperate look in your eyes?” Draco had some serious trouble finding an answer to that.
”Just trying to run from my problems, I guess.”
”That's a great method. Seems to be working out really well for you.”
”No need for the irony, thank you very much!”
”I'm sorry.” She smiled apologetically. ”Poisonous snake just happens to be my identity when in lack of sleep. I'm terrible at it.”
”Bad dreams?”
”I guess.” Ginny shook her head, trying to delete her memories from the unpleasant dreams. “But seriously. I want to know. Why?”
”No, you don't want to know!” He stood up hastily, a furious look upon his face. ”You have nothing to do with this. We've never been particularly friendly with each other. You said it yourself, I hated you, I bullied you, like I hated and bullied everyone else. Get away from me. Save yourself.”
”Stop that!” She surprised herself when raising her voice. It'd been a long time since, and she'd forgot exactly how good she was at it. Growing up with six older brothers had made her voice a useful skill. ”Stop saying that! I'm an adult, responsible for my own actions and choices. I'm not going to save myself, because I don't need to be saved.” She had to gasp for breath. ”Maybe I'm doubting my choices in life. Maybe I need to surprise myself. Maybe I need to do something different.”
”So I'm a little pet project in your perfect life? Fantastic.” She could practically smell the sarcasm in his voice.
”Merlin's beard, Draco. Why do you believe that every single human being hates you so bad?”
”It's been my experience so far.”
”Well, I don't hate you.”

They sat in silence after that.
”You still haven't answered my question.”
”Fine.” He looked out the window, unwilling to meet her eyes. ”Because I'm terrified of going home.”
More silence.

~

”You don't have any other place to stay at? Some friend able to help you?” She was kind, optimistic, but it was all in vain. Draco didn't want her to care about him. It was a fate that she simply didn't deserve.
”I don't have friends anymore. Everyone...” She raised an eyebrow. ”...well, everyone with a capacity of thinking logically hates me. I've spent my whole life being an asshole, and now I'm suffering the consequences.”
”Everyone can't possibly hate you. You're wearing an engagement ring.” Ginny nodded towards the thin gold ring on his left hand.
”You wouldn't believe me if I told you under which circumstances I got it.”
”Try me.”
He didn't understand how, nor did he understand why, or understand anything, but something he couldn't explain made him look into her eyes and tell her the whole story.
He didn't have the energy to fight it any longer.

She was silent through the whole story, serious and focused. She didn't mock him for stuttering, didn't say a word when tears fell down his cheek. She was silent, and she listened patiently while Draco told her more than he had told anyone in years.

~
He didn't cry. Not a single tear was shed during the time they sat at the dilapidated kitchen table, painted the same shade of blue as the sky on a wonderful summer day.
Ginny didn't cry either. She wanted to at some points, but had the ability to stop herself.
Her two-way mirror was vibrating. She knew it was Harry. She ignored it. Draco was the one and only centre of her attention, and he needed it the most.

”Do you want me to say something?” She asked the question after making sure he'd finished his story.
”No. I don't need your pity.” He swallowed, looking a little regretful over his sharp tone. ”Sorry. I'm just not really ready to talk about it. I've never told anyone before.”
”Can we make a deal?”
”What?”
”If I get to help you out of your situation, we never have to talk about it again.”
He made the thinking expression she recognized from their train ride months ago, only it looked a lot more serious now.
”Deal.”
”Do you want to take a walk? I think we can hide pretty well in the centre of London.”

~

They ended up on a bench in Hyde Park. The sun shone upon them, bringing significantly less heat than the July sun, but still very pleasant and satisfying. The leaves were in the beginning of their colour-changing process, but were not yet in piles on the ground. Every now and then a breeze would blow past them, and Draco would shiver, but it was gone as quickly as it came.
”So”, he said, wrapping his hands around the paper cup of cappuccino Ginny had paid for. ”I've told you about my life. Your turn. Tell me everything about your perfect life.”
”Perfect?” She laughed, thinking about the countless nights she'd had dinner alone this year, all the times she'd fallen asleep on the couch before Harry came home. ”No one has a perfect life.”
”Tell me anyway.”
”I want to call off my engagement”, she said without thinking.
”Wow. Okay.” The shock in his voice was clear, but the one in her head felt stronger. Did she really just say that out loud?
”Harry is training to be an auror. That's fantastic, it's his dream, I want him to follow it. It's just... auror training is so damn tough. He comes home at midnight, if he comes home at all. We barely have time to talk anymore, he's exhausted all the time and I feel like he's a stranger. It's killing me.”
”So why are you two still together?”
”He's the man of my dreams.” A tear made its way down her cheek. ”He's always been. We share the same friends. My family is his family. I’ve fangirled over him since I was eleven, and I've loved him since I was fifteen. It's meant to be.”
”Is that what you feel, or what you tell yourself?”
”Honestly? I have no idea.”

They watched the squirrels and the great chaos of tourists for a moment.
”So I guess both our lives kind of sucks”, said Draco.
”It doesn't suck. It's just…”
”It's okay, Ginny. I think I get it.” It was the first time she'd ever heard him say her name, and she tried to hide her surprise.
”I'll help you. I promise I will help you. Even if you don't think you deserve it.”
”You're not giving me much of a choice, are you?” He sipped his coffee and gave her a weak smile. ”I think we may need to help each other.”
”Yeah. Maybe.” She wiped her tears as she stood up. She grabbed the spare key to Lunas apartment from her coat pocket and gave it to Draco. ”There's a couple ready-made meals in the fridge. I'm coming back tomorrow.” She started walking, but turned around after just a few steps. ”Take care of yourself.”
”I'll try”, he answered, but she was already gone by then.

~

”Ginny! Where the hell have you been?” Harry stood so close to the door she almost hit him in the face. ”I’ve tried to call you a hundred times, but you turned your mirror off.”
”Yes, I did. And I'm fine. Can I come inside?” He stepped back, allowing her to enter the apartment.
”But where were you? I was worried sick!”
”I was with a friend. From work. Nobody you know.” She held up her arms, trying to signalize that he needed to calm down.
”And why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you pick up? Why did you turn off your mirror?”
”Can you please let me live my own life?” Ginny kept her voice calm, knowing she had nothing to gain by losing her temper. She went into the kitchen to boil water for a cup of tea, Harry following her like a lovesick puppy.
”I just want to know where you were. I hate having to worry about you.”
”Please, Harry, there's no need. I'm capable of taking care of myself. It's what I do day after day, you know. Stop being such a control-freak.” She knew she was provoking him. She didn't care.
”I'm not a control-freak. This conversation is useless. Are you going to tell me where you were?”
”You sound an awful lot like one.” She took her cup of lemon tea and sat down on the chair next to him. ”I need to explain... a thing.”
”I have a feeling I'm not going to like this thing.” He ran his hand through his jet-black hair, a habit he often did to calm herself. She realised how she knew every detail about him, and how she was supposed to love that fact, but didn't.
”You're probably right.” Ginny took a deep breath, filling her lungs not only with air, but with courage to say the words she knew she needed to say. ”I'm not sure I love you anymore.”
________________________________________________



Hope y'all like it! Jag hoppas fortfarande att några fler läsare vill ansluta sig, haha. :'D

Älskar den! Du skriver så bra och jag älskar den helt nya bilden av både Draco och Ginny, som gör historien så bra, trots att det inte händer jättemycket! Superbra

Ska tagga lite folk om jag får såklart

Om jag inte sa det, jättebra! ♥

Ooohh, vänta du, det kommer hända saker. I have my plans--
Tack ♥


Såklart du får! Tack så mycket :*

Taggar lite folk då hoppas att ni inte tar illa upp eller något men den här fanfictionen (om man skriver så) är grymt bra. Rekommenderar den om man läser på engelska.

Den verkar jättebra och så, och nån dag när jag är lite bättre på engelska kanske jag läser den, för den verkar jättebra!


Men just nu är jag inte särkilt van vid att läsa på engelska (förutom typ skolböcker då..) så jag känner att jag typ vill "känna språket" lite mer så att jag inte missar massa grejer som är oviktiga men gör det jättebra.. Om nån förstår vad jag menar xD

Gash du är begåvad!♥
Bevakat c:

Läser helt klart!

GAAAAH DET ÄR SÅ BRA!!!