The Broken Ones [ENG]

Haha, tack ♥


men åh. vilken fantastisk kommentar! ;__; tack så mycket. den gjorde mig såå rörd! vad fin du är. ♥ ♥
Harry är helt klart på väg tillbaka! Förmodligen-i-nästa-kapitel på väg tillbaka.


♥ ♥ ♥ tack!!! måste hålla med om att det här kapitlet är gullighetsbomb deluxe och allt är bara SÅ FINT!! hehe.
(är eventuellt smått förälskad i det själv)
(och vem vill inte vara en del av Weasley-familjen???)
kraaaam! ♥

GULLIGASTE JAG LÄST JU
Blev verkligen varm i hjärtat av att läsa det här kapitlet, jag vill också vara en del av familjen Weasley! Älskar älskar älskar denna fanfiction. Sluta aldrig skriva okej?!

Du är fantastisk, kram♥

Neeeeej vad gulligt! ♥

Asså hur snäll weasleyfamiljen är mot Draco är så gulligt. Och hur George pratade om Ginny ♥ Det här citatet:
"“You better. And if I ever, ever, “His face was as stern as Draco remembered Professor McGonagall’s to have been. “find out that you’ve done something to hurt her, I will crush you into pieces and that duel you experienced will have been a walk in the park in comparison. That understood?”"
Var typ jättegulligt på nåt sätt ♥

Älskar denna fanfiction så mycket. Kan inte beskriva det med ord ♥

SÖTISAR! Tack igen för era kommentarer. ♥

Jag jobbar på kapitel 21, har en massa skolarbete och andra aktiviteter som kommer ivägen men jag blir bättre och bättre på att ta mig tid att skriva några ord på dokumentet. Kram på er!

*kommenterar för att du ska kunna lägga upp ett kapitel när du vill* ♥

Wohoo! Nu har jag hunnit skriva klart!
Once again, Förlåt för att uppdateringen är dålig. Livet kommer ivägen typ hela tiden och är det inte det saknar jag motivation och ja. Den här fanfictionen är snart slut.
Släpper en bomb i det här kapitlet som faktiskt varit planerad sedan länge, jag lovar!! Fråga JosefinFiniom ni inte tror mig. Jag pratade med henne i höstas om det här..

Chapter 21; Intimacy

Harry Potter was, to say the least, confused beyond comparison. He’d been through a bunch of confusing adventures in his life, and yet this one felt profoundly more peculiar than any other.

It was a peaceful hour, somewhere early in the day. The curtains were the color of mother-of-pearl, and they shimmered in the sunlight they let through, reflecting the light onto his face. The light made him able to truly see the bedroom whose details it’d been too dark to examine yesterday, and he inspected it with great interest. It was surprisingly neat, the books in the bookshelf arranged after colour, the writing desk twice as organized as his. The full-length mirror was meticulously clean, and the wardrobe door stood open just enough to reveal a neatly sorted collection of clothes. Except for the most comfortable and luxurious bed Harry had ever slept in and the maroon tapestries, there wasn’t much else furniture in the room, but he adored it nonetheless. The room wasn’t the problem at all. The light hangover, sneaking up on him with its headache and slight dizziness, wasn’t the problem either. No, the real issue with the problem was in fact how unproblematic it felt.

The handsome, handsome body next to him shuffled in its sleep, letting out a sleepy moan.
“You awake?”, the sleepy voice whispered. “Sleep well?”
“Wonderful, thank you.” He placed a kiss on the beautiful person’s lips, not even noticing the alcohol-infused morning breath.
“I had a marvellous time yesterday.” The body stretched, waking itself up.
“So did I.” Harry let out a chuckle. “It was… an experience.”
“Feel like doing it again sometime?”
“How soon?”
“Whenever you want to.” The person blew him a kiss as its body raised itself from the bed. Harry couldn’t help but peer at the naked body from behind as it moved, bending down to reach for the clothes that had been thrown on the floor in sudden haste the night before. He watched the chiseled back muscles flex as they pulled a dark blue t-shirt over the head, watched the toned legs pull on briefs and stone-washed jeans. He watched it with amusement and adoration and fascination, but also with deep bewilderment.

Harry Potter had done many odd things in his life, but until yesterday night, he had never spent the night with a person of the male gender. Yet here he was. And he’d enjoyed it.
Harry Potter had battled dragons, dementors and the most powerful, villainous wizard of all time. He’d spent months camping in the woods, he’d been chased by a three-headed dog, and he’d actually died once - but he had never experienced this before.
And no matter how absurd it felt, he’d loved it.
He loved him.

xxxxxxxxx

“So, Draco.” Bob was seated in his usual armchair, leaning back and scrutinizing Draco with his therapist-eyes. Draco knew that wasn’t the case - therapy was supposed to be free from legilimency - but he always felt like those eyes stared right through him, through everything he felt and thought and was.
“Yes?”
“How are you doing?”
“Well”, he admitted. “I’m feeling… fine.”
“Would you like to elaborate?”
“The panic attacks are better. And I feel… calmer. Like I can finally relax. I don’t necessarily feel good… but I’m okay.”
“That’s progress, Draco.” Bob offered him a smile. “Progress is what we’re aiming for, after all.”
“I know.” He fingered at the golden bracelet Ginny had given him just yesterday. There were room for a collection of different charms, but he had only one so far - a small-scale, golden heart, giving off the most low-key of vibrations. It was supposed to remind him of his heart, the heart that still beat and would continue to do so for a long, long time. “And I am making progress. I can feel it.”
“Any suicidal thoughts? Thoughts of self-harm?”
“Some. I’m… I’m trying to learn not to act on them. Some days are easier than others.”
“And that’s the way life works”, said Bob. He scribbled something on his notepad. “Try as we might, we can never make our lives perfect. We can only do the best with what we have.” They watched in unison as a crow flew past their window, probably chasing some smaller bird to eat for snack. Maybe I should’ve been a bird, Draco thought. Seems like a pretty simple life.
But he wasn’t a bird, and that was that. He was only Draco.
“I’m drawing again”, he confessed. “Mostly doodles and insignificant scrabbles. But… It’s been a long time since.”
“I had no idea you used to draw. Is that something you enjoy doing?”
“I’ve always done it. Since I was a child. There’s something meditative in it.”
“Well, drawing can be a useful method to cope with your feelings. Expressing them in a way that’s not self-destructive. That’s great.”
“I suppose it is.” The therapist and his client stayed silent for a while, listening only to the immutable soundtrack of people travelling the crowded cobble streets outside their building by foot.

“Have you thought anything about your future, Draco?” Bob was the one to eventually break the silence. “You’re still on sick-leave from your office job at the Ministry of Magic. Would you like to go back there?”
“Well, I don’t have a choice, do I?” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s my job. It’s where I’m employed.”
“For now”, said Bob calmly. “Nothing says you’re forced to stay there. It’s your job, but is it the job you want to have? Do you want to work there? There’s nothing holding you back from changing your course. You’re still young, you know.”
“I’ve never really reflected much about it”, Draco admitted. “It was, it is, a job. It gives me money. It’s something to fill my days with it. It’s tolerable, and I always saw that as good enough.”
“Good enough.”, said Bob, putting down his quill on the table. “I never know what to make out of that expression. Why are we humans always talking about good enough? Why are we always settling down with what we get without fighting for more? Why do we always think that we have to be satisfied, when the sky is up there, waiting for us? Why do we think it’s not worth it to try and fulfill our dreams?” He waved at a kid who’d spotted him through the window, grinning amiably before turning his attention to Draco again. “That’s always been something that bugs me.”
“I never really thought much about my career options. I was raised believing that The Dark Lord…”
“Voldemort.”
“...That Voldemort would rise once again, and I as a Death Eater would spend my life serving him and his cause, whether I liked it or not. I always thought that would be my life.”
“I see. But what if I told you now that your options are unlimited? What would you like to work with, if you could do anything in the whole world?”
“I… I’m not sure.”
“Think about it for a moment. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself, living your dream life. What would you be doing? You don’t have to come up with an answer today, not even until I see you next time - but think about it.”
“I will.”
“If there’s nothing else you’d like to discuss with me today, I would suggest that we end this session.”
“There’s nothing else”, he confirmed. “Thank you.”
“This is my job, Draco.” Bob offered him another smile. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“Can I ask you one last question? Just one?”
“Of course you can. That’s what I’m here for.”
“Why did you become a therapist?”, Draco asked out of genuine curiosity.
“I’m a squib. Born to magical parents and five older siblings with magical abilities, but lacking them myself. It was quite insufferable growing up, being the good-for-nothing little brother. I was teased constantly throughout my childhood, which caused a major depression in my teens.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It got better, you see, like it always does. I finished school with killer grades. I made my own friends. I dated girls. Eventually, I was old enough to move out from my parent’s house and start my own life. When I was depressed, though, I realised just how little the Wizarding World knew about it. Most of us did, and still do, ignore it. We don’t bother to treat it if it can’t be solved with a cheering charm. I wanted to change that, so I studied psychology at a muggle university and then moved on to start my own private business in the Wizarding World.”
“That’s… really inspiring. Thank you, again.” It was with his head full of brand new thoughts and ideas that Draco left the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Five months.
They’d been a couple for five months.
Ginny Weasley couldn’t quite wrap her head around it as she left the Quidditch arena after friday evening’s practice. It felt like centuries had passed since she’d found the emaciated, dismal wreck of a man in a dark corner of Diagon Alley. At the same time, she felt like that was yesterday.

There had been lots of kisses, lots of sweet words and late nights talking, lots of gestures and romantic walks in Hyde Park, lots of empathy and affection and care. But there hadn’t been more. There hadn’t been… intimacy. And she still hadn’t told him why.
She knew he wanted to - it wasn’t that hard figuring it out. She understood the hints and gestures, and she appreciated them. Deep inside, she wanted it too, more than anything else. But there was a seemingly impregnable barrier protecting it, protecting her from anyone ever trying to come close to her sexually ever again, and it wasn’t the sort of barrier a simple Reducto could break. It was a scar only partially healed, one whose stitches would shatter and break at the slightest touch. She wanted to let it go, she wanted to move on, but she was unable to do that without ripping the scar and its ugly, clumsily sewn stitches wide open in order for it to heal. She knew she would have to do it, one day. Just not today. Just one more day of ignorance, she told herself day after day, and it was a temporary solution but it was a solution.

They shared a bed - there was no reason for them not to. She didn’t find it unpleasant, far from so . It felt only reassuring to have somebody next to her, protecting her against everything just like she protected him. Being close was okay, being close was no problem.
But to feel her heart racing every time Draco kissed her neck too many times, every time he gave the slightest hint about wanting to, to feel her heart racing in the most panicked and terrified sensation - she hated it.
Draco didn’t ask. He was kind and accepting, and as soon as she showed him she had no interest in sex whatsoever, he moved over to his side of the bed and they slept. She chided herself for not being brave enough to tell him why.

She had to tell him, sooner or later. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to explain why she behaved like she did, explain that she loved him and wanted to love him in all the ways she could. She wanted to explain that she wanted it too - Merlin, how she wanted it - but she was afraid. So very afraid.

“Ginny?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re avoiding me.”
The night took no regards to Ginny’s fear. It arrived continuously, after every single day, and every night she crawled down next to Draco hoping to avoid the triggers. Sometimes she managed to, sometimes she didn’t.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“Well then, could you do me a favor and be honest about something?” He said it with such tenderness, such care, that she felt obliged to respond. “I...I need to ask.”
“I guess I could try.”
“You don’t want a sexual relationship, do you?” The question was so genuine and upfront it shocked her.
“I do”, she blurted out instinctively. “I really do. It’s just…”
“There’s something to this you’re not telling me”, said Draco matter-of-factly. “I won’t force you to. But after all, you were the one that made me start talking about it. I thought maybe I would do the honors this time.”
“You’re cute.” She let out a sigh and moved closer, shortening the distance between them until they were only inches apart. “I know. I should talk about it. I just… don’t know if I can. If I’m ready. “ She bit her lip, disgusted with her own cowardice. She sounded so stupid.
“Hey, you’re a Gryffindor.” He grabbed her hand. “You guys are known for your rash bravery and foolhardiness. You’re always ready.”
“And you are in dire need of practising your compliments.”
“I love you too.” They both chuckled. “No, but seriously. Sometimes talking about it really, really helps. Holding it in rarely does. Something I’ve learned in therapy is that you often have to let go in order to move forward.”
“You’re right. Just… give me a minute.”
“Naturally.”


The minute passed to quickly, like time always does when you don’t want it to, but Draco was right. She had to talk about it.
So she did. She told him.
Not every little detail. Not about how she’d cried for hours in the bathroom next day soon as Harry left for work. Not how she still always walked a little faster if she heard steps from behind. Not about the sleepless nights and anxious breakdowns and silent tears at the office. Not about the physical pain, the painful and embarrassing reminder of what she’d been through.
But she told him, the first person she’d ever told.

“I’m sorry”, was her finishing words. “I’m really sorry.”
“For what?” Draco looked confused.
“For being such a mess of a girlfriend. You deserve better.”
“That”, he said, “is the most foolish, illogical thing I’ve ever heard you say. I love you. I will love everything that is you, always. I don’t love someone who’s never gone through anything. I love someone who’s a fighter. I love someone who’s still alive, despite all the shit she’s been through.”
“When did you get all philosophical?”
“It’s something new I’m trying. You like it?”
“I love you, too”, she whispered. “So much.”

She kissed him. Slightly at first, then deeper and with more passion. At least she was able to do this.
________________________________________________________
jag var ändå riktigt nöjd med det här kapitlet, känner jag när jag läser igenom det! Mycket fina detaljer som jag blev nöjd med hehe. Tell me what you think! Och framförallt, är ni ok med Harry?? Haha, det var verkligen oväntat men det var en rolig idé kände jag.

KRAM till alla er som läser, jag tycker så mycket om er. ♥

Jaa!! Omg det här var det bästa hittills! En gay Harry är ett måste! Så fiiiint och braaaa och nu är jag bara jättenyfiken på vem Harry spend the night with Hoppas fortfarande på Drarry xD ♥

Jag älskar gay Harry! Och Drinny är sötast < 333 Och av någon anledning så tycker jag jättemycket om Bob eh.

Men jättebra kapitel, jag gillade att Ginny berättade för Draco först och jag gillade allt men framförallt första scenen heheh

Det här kapitlet var så fint! Hur alla verkade vara nöjda med det mesta och hur det går bättre för alla ♥ Och asså Harry, kommer vi få veta vem han har hittat? ♥